It was mostly back to normal today. Daddy B returned to work (always hard to say goodbye after a lovely break). I had to drag my sorry self back to the gym – only to be confronted by the extravagance of the festive period reflected in the glass as I pretended to do some sit-ups.
It’s official: I’m wearing a rubber ring of Christmas delights around my midriff that simply has to go (more on that next week).
To top it off, I’ve been sporting the lankest greasy hair for the last two days (Daddy B kindly gifted me a Brazilian Blow Dry for Christmas to tame my tresses, results yet to be seen!). I’ve been trying to disguise it with a bobble hat since, but Auntie H told me it’s so warm outside I look like East 17! It’s fair to say I’ve got that post Christmas and New Year hangover. Big time.
Added to the mix, Little Darling D had her first day at nursery today. I tried to kid myself that because I’d done this before we’d be really cool with it (such an experienced Mummy these days…NOT!). I had thought that as this little peach had been dropping off and picking up her big sister since day one she’d be totally comfortable with her new environment. I’d done a settling in session with her which went seamlessly, I’d spoken to her about the transition building up to the big day. But today she knew something was up – and she didn’t like it.
This morning at home she was unusually clingy, her lunch time nap was a disaster and she was inseparable from her new BFF “Snowman” (pronounced “No Man”), her Christmas teddy.
So off we trotted to nursery this afternoon with her own little bag (so grown up) containing all her necessities and ‘No Man’, just in case she needed a familiar friend.
As we approached her new classroom, the tears began. And when I tried to distance myself from her to find her peg and hang up her things she panicked and wobbled – cue tears and cuddles. After 15 minutes of settling, Big D and I made our exit only to hear those heart rending cries…..”M-U-M-M-Y!!”.
By contrast, when Big D had her first day she literally glided in and didn’t even look back at me. I left after only a few minutes chatting to the teacher and then walked across Parsons Green sobbing like a baby myself. I guess my tears were partly because she didn’t need me and I felt a little shaken by her independence at the tender age of two.
I didn’t cry today – mainly because Big D was there chatting away as a distraction, and she gets so upset if she sees me cry, but also because the emotion was different. I felt incredibly guilty. I’ve always known Little D is a soft soul with a sensitive side, so I’ve sat here tonight questioning if her starting nursery has been the right decision – should I have waited a little longer?
Her character traits are so much more like mine and that’s probably why I feel so terrible. Anyone who knows me will know that if I’m forced into a room with lots of strangers I’ll be feeling really uncomfortable, shy and self-conscious. But once I find my feet I’m more like Big D – confident, independent and strong (most of the time…).
Today has been tough for the two of us, but mostly for Little D. I’m hoping this settling-in period will pass quickly and it’ll only be a matter of time before she can’t wait to go and play with her new-found friends. She’ll come home bursting to tell me about her day and showing me the amazing picture of a few splodges of paint that I’ll cherish like a Monet (or perhaps a Jackson Pollock…). I’m already dreading Wednesday, but she won’t know that as I’ll have to be strong for her. It will turn out alright in the end.
If you have any hints and tips on readying your little one for their first days of nursery, I’d love to hear them.
Love Mummy B