Little D just turned two which is all kinds of amazing. She is really starting to communicate, her and her sis have a lovely little bond that I can see growing by the day, we’re on the cusp of getting out of nappies altogether – and if I remember rightly from when Big D was this age, life is about to get a whole lot easier.
In a parallel universe perhaps! Poor Little D is having big struggles at the mo, her sleep has regressed to newborn stage, she’s frustrated in her own skin as she wants to tell me what she’s thinking or feeling but can’t quiet find the words or articulate her emotions. So instead tears roll down her soft-as-a-peach cheeks and those puppy brown eyes search deep into my soul for the answers.
Little D has never much liked being little. Not one to be spoon fed, wanted to run before she could walk – among other tangible traits of a second child – in short she wants to be her big sister. Being the eldest child myself, I have no experience of being the younger sibling and how this can make you feel like you live your life in perpetual catch-up mode (fast forward), until the age gap closes and you can express yourself as an individual.
Being two comes with it’s troubles, I can remember this much from Big D, but the challenges here seem somehow different as there’s in a sense pressure to progress quicker. The nature of having two little children means I have less time to overcome challenging situations (the art of distraction was my secret weapon with Big D), but this doesn’t quite wash with Little D. She’s accustomed to having the distraction of a big sis and just actually wants life to focus on her for just a moment while she delivers her Oscar wining performance of how to throw a tremendous tantrum because she just doesn’t want her coat on or Mummy has cut her toast in too many pieces (epic error).
The Little Love has a few possession issues we’re working on. In fact she’s claimed the house and it’s contents and declared the lot “MINE“, me included as she quite rightly told her cousin on the weekend, “MY MUMMY“. There’s a balance here, I’m keen to promote fairness and sharing, but don’t want Little D to be bullied into giving things up – I want to raise a strong woman.
Then there’s the struggle of those wretched last molar teeth grinding their way through her pink perfect gums – I’m sure I can’t even comprehend the pain. I want to explain what’s happening and to make it all OK, but it all gets a bit lost in translation. She just points at her jaw and looks at me helplessly with those beautiful eyes and I’m powerless, all I can offer you is comfort and a little Calpol which isn’t quite hitting the spot I know!
She’s also struggling to sleep and is feeling terribly anxious. She woke up in the night and realised she was all alone in the dark and called out and I came to her and took her to bed with me, so now she wants to be with me every night. Because although you might not feel that clever at two, you are instinctively a genius and can control me like a puppet. Because a mother’s love does that, it takes over and controls you like nothing else. But the sleep is now out of control, which means that every aspect of the day is somehow a struggle. Circles of tiredness are beginning to show.
Slowly but surely we’ll get back in the groove of a virtuous circle. In the meantime, I’ve banned your sister from watching Scooby Doo – as I think that may have a part to play in this.
So as you struggle with turning two we promise to be here to love you, comfort you and help you. Life’s tough at two! But you are amazing. Always.
Love Mummy B