Any mother will tell you that, as your little ones grow bigger, so do your worries. As a new mother, I thought how can this be – such a lot of nonsense?
As time goes on, and the more I have to take this being-a-grown-up thing seriously, I see it and feel it far more. Lately, I’ve been struck by the amount of mummies I know talking about their anxiety. I don’t worry about trivial day-to-day things, but I do worry about just about everything else from the crazy to the ridiculous.
I recently took a trip away with my husband and got myself so worked up with separation anxiety from the girls I actually got sick. Tomorrow, I’m away again for three days feeling much the same. So I guess this blog is my way of counseling myself through it.
I know it’s totally silly, but anxiety is not something I feel I can control or feel very comfortable talking about. If you knew me, you’d probably (viz. hopefully) never tell that I’m a perpetual worrier. I want to act like I’ve totally got my stuff together – and hopefully that’s the way I come across. But sadly, since having my Little Loves, the worries have become a bit of a thing.
So many of my friends have said the same has happened to them. One told me recently that she’s been suffering chest pains from anxiety because she has a strange, and totally unwarranted fear that she’s going to die and about not being there for her children. I knew what she was talking about. It’s totally irrational, and a bit morbid even, but she’d been dwelling on it.
As we discussed the ridiculousness of our conversation over a glass of wine we couldn’t help but feel a little crazy – but that feeling is 100% real and what’s worse it seems to be growing.
I guess that maybe it’s a way for our brain to tell us that we’re not kids any more. Reminding us that we’re mortal, to stop taking risks with our lives and get more responsible – for the sake of our children. With the little ones so wholly dependent on us I suppose that makes sense biologically.
The truth though is that these worries are in a sense not rationale – the risk profile of my life hasn’t changed in the last 10 years (which probably coincides with when I last skied off piste). But it is 100% normal as a young mummy to have these pangs of anxiety.
If, like me, you catch yourself worrying for no good reason, don’t let it worry you. Plenty of other mothers are going through the same thing. And if we didn’t worry at all? Well, that would probably be worse, as it might mean that we cared that little bit less.
The safety and happiness of our little ones as they go through life is the most important thing to us as mummies. If sometimes that care and concern manifests itself in a bit of harmless worrying, then so be it.
If you feel that your worries are getting the better of you, I think the best thing you can do is to talk to family and friends about it – or a professional if you feel more comfortable. It’s through talking about our emotions that we begin to understand our feelings and where they stem from.
If you have any ideas for managing worry and stress – do let me know – I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Love Mummy B